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From: Occhio Pazzo 🇬🇧
EES, an anecdote from BCN Flew to Barca yesterday with the missus and number 2 son. I have an Andorra residency card which entitles me to go through the EU/EEA channel, but they do not. 19 year old Spanish jobsworth spied my UK passport and tried to make me go through the EES thing. I waved my green card at him saying "residencia Andorra" but he wasn't having it. Stood my ground and just pushed though. He went to hassle someone else. Anyhow, because I have a UK passport, I don't use the EU machines but just go to the manual desks. Get to the front, three or four people in front. Usually takes a minute to process. Then another little Spanish twat brings two people over from the scanner things and bumps them in front of me. Little disgruntled at this but whatever. But today he isn't taking a minute. There's only one bloke on passports and he's just come back from a training course so he is taking Fucking ages (maybe ten minutes) over each one. Speedy Gonzales on go slow. Then the other prick comes with another one and bumps him in front of me too. Cunt! By now wife and child are through EES (five mins, max) and grinning smugly at me from the other side. Me and the other queuees push up to close the gap where the ars'ole has bumped people through so he can't put any more through. Turns out the EU scanners are chucking out more people than they're allowing through and the bump Cunt is now sending them to the back of the queue that I'm in, which is now getting long. Speedy Gonzales in his booth, meanwhile, is still taking his own sweet time. Young Spanish bloke two in front of me (one of the bumpees) is getting animated. Starts shouting in Spanish. Bump Cunt comes over and shouts back. Speedy Gonzales, on his feet in his booth, shouting at him too. Some unknown short arse ugly Spanish lanyard tart appears and joins in too. People in the queue behind me joining in. Fat Irish girl immediately behind me starts crying "I just want to go home" she wails. After a bit of hollering everyone calms down and Speedy goes back to (slowly) scrutinizing passports. Queue now very long. I get my phone out and take a picture. Fuck me! Now its kicked off. Ugly Spanish lanyard tart comes running over with the bump Cunt screaming at me in Dagoish. "NO COMPRENDO!" I tell her. "NO PHOTO! NO PHOTO!" she hollers "NO PROBLEMO! NO PROBLEMO!" I holler back and raise my hands in the air as if I'm about to be shot People start laughing. She Fucks off. Tempted to take her picture but think better of it. Speedy trundling on. Twenty minutes or so later it's my go. "Bon dia" I say to him pleasantly giving him my card and passport. Surly Fucker mutters something I can't understand. Probably "Cunt" in Spanish. He manually enters every detail on my passport into his machine, everything. By keyboard, slowly. Tap tap tappity tap. Must have taken ten mins. Must have been a hundred people now queuing behind. No rush Carlos. Anyhow, there's a win for the EES channel and here's the picture that nearly got me the rubber glove up the arse. Edited on 20/09/2026 at 07:08:28. Edited on 20/09/2026 at 07:15:07.

Current Thread	Author	Time
EES, an anecdote from BCN...[more]	Occhio Pazzo 🇬🇧	07:05:40
>> I have not experienced this system.	Free Thinking Doggie	08:37:28
>> 😂 What is that thing in the stripes? Animal, vegetable, mineral?	Hamsterwheel	07:16:24
>> Muzzer presumably. Fashionable nun maybe?	Occhio Pazzo 🇬🇧	07:19:26

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