Andrew MountBatten Windsor found dead at home in study. Exclusive!
Associated Press. 5th of February 2026
By our Royal staff reporter, Confiscated Shotguns. Additional reporting, Biscuit Petal and Dandy Lyon-Wyne.
Andrew could be found dead from his own hand or hands perhaps in a study and either after stepping off a three legged chair, sticking his head in the gas Aga or throwing himself under one of his horses.
Andrew ex Duke of York, being white, male and therefore innately more privileged than any black lesbien could ever hope to be failed to ever check his prividige and so this could be likely why he may, by the date outlined above, have chosen to end his career and life.
People who knew Andrew Windsor and noticably failed to stick up for him while he was living a life still could have stepped forward and stated that as his role as roving ambassador for UK inc Andrew Windsor lived in the real politic world of arms and access, a world well known for high living and double standards., hookers at Davos and endless lines of coke etc. Andrew bought in many many millions for UK inc arms industries, doing a fine job treading a line between canapes on the Royal Yacht and nibbling Ferraro Roche at the Ambassador's residence as he made connections for these same people who since the scandal of Epstein broke have failed to point out the world he moved in and was known as an asset for.
Meanwhile friends of black lesbien anti hate speech activist Rashida Osqomonoippioolous Anna-Ratatooie said she felt no sorrow that the artist formally known as Prince [not that one surely? ed] had been forced to knock himself off. "I hate that fat white bastard, always have, always will. .. and he had it coming, what with raping all those poor black Russian hookers who were only seeking empowerment and a way out from under the oppressive weight of the white male patriarchy", friends told this reporter.
The funeral, should there eventually need to be one, will likely be held at the ground of either Windsor or Sandringham estates. Prince Lozenge Head is not expected to attend as he has to open a new Wind Farm on a Chinese slave estate plantation. In a statement Lozenge Head's PR operative read a prepared statement to funeral reporters, "the ice caps are melting, the planet is boiling, millions are being displaced and water is now going extinct. We must act today to save the world we know and love and reverse these trends, apart from the open boders due to hot temperatures etc. In combination with Blackrock and Charles Slob and Bill Gate, Google, Larry Penis, and my own Earth Shot initiative, we are saving the planet one day at a time. Thank you for coming, I love my wife a lot, God save the future me."
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